If you have trouble falling or staying asleep, you can start to develop negative associations with this time.
If these associations persist, they can create a harmful cycle that leaves you chronically sleep-deprived.
It’s an unpopular truth that negative associations often form around our nightly habits, our sleep environment, or – often times – even the process of trying to fall asleep. This kind of negative conditioning can actually increase our brain’s alertness and make it harder to drift off.
For example, if you often go to bed late, you might start worrying that you won’t get enough rest for the next day. In your rush to sleep, you skip your usual bedtime rituals and dive straight into bed, only to find your mind racing. You toss and turn, unable to fall asleep. Once again, you’ve had a poor night’s rest.
The next evening, your brain remembers the struggle, and the cycle begins again.
To undo this pattern, we need to help your brain associate bedtime with success. That means breaking the conditioned responses that form when we repeatedly try – unsuccessfully – to fall asleep.
How to do this:
Refresh your bedtime rituals.
Your routine doesn’t have to be long, but you need consistent cues that signal it’s time for bed (such as brushing your teeth, putting on pajamas, and/or reading a few pages of a book).
Try winding down by reflecting on what you’re grateful for or focusing on slow, steady breathing.
Aim to go to bed and wake up at the same time every day.
Reclaim your bedroom.
Use your bedroom only for sleep or intimate connection. Remove distractions like TVs, laptops, and phones, and consider keeping pets out of the room.
If you can’t fall asleep, get up and read something dull in a chair until you feel drowsy, then return to bed.
The goal is to avoid associating your bed with wakefulness.
Rinse and repeat.
Be patient – this process takes repetition. Over time, your brain will begin to associate bedtime with relaxation and rest.
The key is to make sleep the easiest thing to do, and everything else – like worrying or watching TV – more difficult.
Although improving your sleep might not seem urgent, quality rest affects nearly every aspect of our life.
When you’re well-rested, you make better choices about food, have more energy for exercise, are more patient and attentive, get sick less often, and handle stress more effectively.
If you suspect you have a specific sleep issue (such as insomnia, obstructive sleep apnea, or a snoring partner) it’s important to talk to a doctor. Proper treatment can help you and your partner get the rest you both need for optimal health.